In rap’s history, while the East and West coasts fought like husband and wife for dominance, the South was for a long time rap’s bastard child; discarded, underestimated and left to figure out its place in the world. Between dudes like Lil Jon, Dem Franchise Boys and Huey, it was hard to make sense of what the hell was going on there but it was always difficult ignore. Even when we made fun of them, we always feared them; the South is and has always been the most notorious of the scenes. Strip clubs, murders, gold teeth, sizzurp (long before Wayne made it popular), low riders and 28-inch rims. Things have changed slightly now and some of today’s most successful artists are either from the South or draw their influences from its Chopped & Screwed style [A$AP Rocky can easily be mistaken for a Texan and we’ve lost count of the number of UGK shout-outs from Drake, Weezy and Kendrick Lamar].
On that note, as incredibly sexy and graceful as Beyonce is, it can be easy to forget that she is as Southern as they come; a born and bred waffle-and-chicken, down to the grizzle Texas girl from the same crevices as some of the trillest rap characters of the nineties… Bun B, Pimp C (R.I.P), Slim Thug, Scarface, Lil Flip, Paul Wall and more recently, the likes of Chamillionaire, Machine Gun Kelly and Kirko Bangz. This week she reminded us of this with the release of her most experimental song to date ‘Bow Down/ I Been On.’ The song is three and a half minutes of braggadocio produced by the killer production tag team of Hit-Boy and Timbaland and the verses on the track sound more like something Hov would have spit than Mrs Sean Carter.
Beyonce asserts her dominance as the queen of the game, roaring “Bow down, bitches” and quite honestly, she puts some of these rap clowns to shame in the process. Going by the griminess of this joint, there are at least 10 singles from rappers out now that wouldn’t be able to stand against B bar for bar – we’re not kidding. And it’s so much because she really spit on this joint, but more because dudes need to step their game up if they claim to be gangsta but get shown up by a lady. We decided to count them down, just cos we can.
1. All Gold Everything – Trinidad James
It was all fun and games rocking out to this joint until we realised that Mr James is taking himself seriously as a rapper. This song is at best a really, really good nursery rhyme. 2. Hey Porsche – Nelly
Why does Nelly insist on tormenting us like this? He doesn’t need the money. 3. Wakka Flocka Flame’s career
No further explanation is needed. 4. I’m Different -2 Chainz
“Eee-err Eee-err, sound of the bed/ Beat it up, beat it up, then I get some head” Should we continue? 5. Teleport To Me, Jamie – Kid Cudi
Suck it up, Cudi. She’s moved on. 6. Rick Ross’ Entire God Forgives I Don’t Album
Rick Ross hyped us up for this album and it turned out to be softer than a baby’s bottom. 7. Break the Pot – Rich Boy
Not that we had any expectations of Rich Boy but hey… 8. Jay Z’s verse on Suit & Tie
People flipped out when Kanye called out Justin Timberlake’s Suit & Tie single for the mediocre music that it is but he was not lying. Hov’s verse did nothing to help the song; maybe it would have turned out differently if Mr Carter has asked his wife for some bars. 9. [Insert the name of a Future song here] 10. One third of Drake’s releases
We’re still looking forward to Nothing was the Same though.