In the spirit of #ThrowbackThursday, we throwback to one of our recent favourite editions of HYPE-O-Meter. If you missed this issue, you’re welcome.
Some of you will remember that a few months ago Kelly Khumalo, a pop singer and loving mother, and her sister straight up ran up on a women and beat her down in broad daylight. Without glorifying violence, it really doesn’t get more G than that. Our rappers aren’t really known for aggression, not in our beloved country. Even when beef goes down, the worst that will happen is someone’s kitten will get kidnapped. We’re not complaining though, we’re all about the love. But there a few guys we think could have the potential to do more than drop a diss joint. With the help of the Hype-O-Meter, we determine who we think could be the most dangerous emcees around.
You know that really little guy who doesn’t look like he can do much damage but has the confidence of Ali in kindergarten fight and you don’t initially understand why? Then one wrong move and you’re descended upon by more goons than the ones present in a G-Unit video. Pro looks that guy. Oh, and he’s from Soweto. The rough parts. We can’t leave that out.
Flabba (Skwatta Kamp)
Undoubtedly the most rough-around-the-edges member of Skwatta Kamp, Flabba has never been anything but raw. If the gold teeth and totsi taal aren’t intimidating enough for you, witnessing that he still committed to dressing like an ‘80’s gangsta and his aura seemlessly commands such, will convince you of his notoriety quick fast. You can just picture him doing you like Tony Montana did Manu in Scarface and not even flinching during the hit. Cold.
The man rhymes in explicit, ghoulish metaphors and has a massive scar across his face that he may or may not have incurred from wrestling a bear. To put it in perspective, if you bumped into Adamus in a dark alley in the middle of the night and he kindly asked you to surrender your phone, what do you think you’d do? Exactly.
Anyone who has ever met Da L.e.s will testify to him being a pretty stellar guy. When you also consider ‘Your boi from the North’ is light-skinned AND didn’t exactly have the most modest upbringing, to say the least, it’s difficult to imagine him even stroking a puppy inappropriately. But cool cats get frustrated too. And we imagine that if the entourage of his fifty bad to the bone, manicured homies he rolls with won’t hurt you for good cause, he could always most certainly pay his butler to do it for him.
This might seem absolutely ridiculous given that Reason is such a cool guy and all, but remember that it’s always the most unsuspecting ones are that are discovered to have human body parts up in the freezer on some Carte Blanche tip. He’s from K1 and connected. What did you think he was referring to when he said he’s up all night getting ‘No Sleep?’
That Guy From Zulu Mobb
Our very own South African version of Tony Yayo. At some point, Dez seemed to be in the slammer so often that he probably got personalized PJs and pillows. The kind of guy who would readily turn any place into Ground Zero for something like not having his coffee mixed anti-clockwise, it’s sad that he’s more known for his shenanigans than his music.